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What Do You Do When the Coffee’s Gone
When the lamp is on, and the chair is warm, and the coffee’s gone, what do you do? Where do you go when there’s nothing there, not in your cup, not a drop to spare? What can you pray, to take the pain...
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And You Wonder What’ll Happen to You
Every day begins the same. The curtains open onto the morning. Waking up. Either too early or too late, the last dreamy wisps evaporating, leaving only vague recollections of my father, Colorado, and a...
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Drinking a Cup of Ralph
True or False: instant coffee is disgusting. It is as bitter as the Devil’s eyebrows and as foul as his horn trimmings. It is more profane than an episode of Jersey Shore and more loathsome than a can...
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The 24-Hour Starbucks on California Street
Perhaps you’ve heard of it. If you have, chances are you either live in the Inner Richmond or Laurel Heights, are/were a student at USF, or were driven to satisfy an unbearably intense craving for...
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We Worship Thee Oh Coffee, Sustainer of Life
Our Lord and Savior coffee hath provided us with much. Whether it is harsh and bitter, too weak, or absent, it rules our life with a brown fist. We don’t control coffee or where it comes from or where...
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10 Valuable Lessons I Learned Today that I’ll Probably Relearn Tomorrow
They say you learn something new every day, and that’s partially true. What’s more true is that as you learn something new every day, you also re-experience the agony of about 10 lessons you already...
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Hello Styrofoam. I Think You’re Trying to Kill Me but I’ll Still Drink Coffee...
Before I start, let me be clear that I know nothing about styrofoam and its affect on my health. Everything I know about styrofoam comes from whatever liberal pseudo-science they put in the water in...
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I’m Addicted to Coffee but I Wouldn’t Dream of Changing
What is dependency? What is addiction? If I can’t force myself to leave the house without the promise of coffee, is that a problem? If I buy more than one, sometimes more than two, and rarely but not...
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It’s Not a Cafe, It’s Tart to Tart
There’s a place near me in the Inner Sunset called Tart to Tart. It’s a bakery/coffee place/Mexican food distributor (kind of.) Nothing cool has happened here in years. Maybe nothing cool has ever...
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Clay the Starbucks Guy Did Not Ruin My Life.
I was standing in line at Starbucks yesterday. My mental state was not good. In fact, it was poor. I hadn’t had time to put on deodorant because I was afraid of missing the train. Instead, I shoved it...
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